Erebor Coffee
by BilbosBooty
Summary: Modern AU, Thorin Oakenshield is the proud owner of Erebor coffee, its a small business venture, especially after the collapse of his grandfathers giant company, but when he offers to tutor university freshman Bilbo Baggins his life will never be the same. Bagginshield in later chapters,
1. Chapter 1

**So this is the story from Thorins pov, my friend Heizeru-Chan is writing from Bilbos pov. Go look at it, the story makes more sense that way.**

**Also there's some Khuzdul that I'll explain at the end. **

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Thorin Oakenshield was the proud owner of the newly opened Erebor Coffee, it was a bold business venture, and he had poured all of his inheritance money into it. After his grandfather's company had gone downhill (ruthlessly overtaken by Smaug enterprises), his father had attempted to salvage the company only to fall into an incurable depression. It had taken its toll on the family, especially after his brother was gunned down in suspicious circumstances five years ago. It was just him and his sister now. And of course her two very annoying sons, who kept pestering him for summer jobs. He had eventually given in and they were due to start next week.

Thorin was wiping down the counter, his hair thrown back into messy pony tail, wearing a batman t-shirt and baristas apron, when someone practically fell through his shop door. His new customer looked rather dazed and confused, glancing around as if he had no idea where he was. He was remarkably short, only reaching Thorin's chin, he had tousled sandy brown curls that fell around his face and eyes that shone like Silmarils. He was wearing an Aqua-man t-shirt with a burgundy blazer, and blue denim skinny jeans. He had a "well loved" pair of converse and a brown satchel that was bursting at the seams. He sported a pair of oversized black framed glasses that were too large for his face.

Thorin frowned, why was there a bewildered hipster gaping at his chest. But then again he shouldn't question his customers, he needed the business.

"I'm not really Batman, you know." Thorin said jokingly.

"Uhhh… What?" the hipster stammered. '_My humour is wasted on him' _thought Thorin. His peculiar guest approached the counter and glanced up at the menu.

" I'll have… a double brewed, low fat vanilla Frappuccino with two espresso shots, whipped cream topping, cherry sprinkles, and a caramel swirl please." He babbled monotonously. Thorin frowned and turned to look at the menu, 'D_o we even sell half that stuff_?'.

"WE SELL COFFEE NOT ICE-CREAM" a voice called from the kitchen. Thorin's oldest friend Dwalin was employed at chef, mainly because he would work for minimum wage. His customer looked quite alarmed at the sudden outburst.

"Well… We do sell ice-cream" Thorin smiled. "So you want a cold coffee with whipped cream and sprinkles yeah?" he asked. The hipster nodded quickly. Thorin began to brew the coffee, but with cold water. He began searching the cupboards for the spray cream. It wasn't in the fridge, or by the coffee maker, or in any of the food cupboards. In frantic desperation he searched the upper cupboards that contained mugs and glasses. Eventually he poked his head through to Dwalin

"Dwalin?! Have you got the spray cream in there?" he hoped they still had some, he ran a coffee shop for Mahal's sake, this was kind of a staple item. He didn't like to keep his customers waiting.

"No. Why in Durin's name would I have it?" Dwalin answered. Thorin sighed, he would have to send Dwalin to get some more, hopefully his newest customer wouldn't mind the wait; the store was only a few doors down.

"In that case we've run out, would you mind going and grabbing some more? It's not like you're busy" Dwalin was never busy, he baked bread and bagels early in the morning and prepared soup at lunch. No one ever ordered food so he had a lot of free time to work on his Temple Run skills. He sighed,

"I don't see the point in buying it in if no one orders it" he grumbled. '_What am I even paying this guy for?_' Thorin wondered and he sent an icy glare in Dwalin's direction.

"Fine, I'll go if I have too" he mumbled. As Thorin left the kitchen, he noticed that his only customer had taken a seat at the table closest to the counter.

"Dwalin's just gonna pop out and get some spray cream because apPARENTLY THERES NO POINT IN HAVING ANY IF NO ONE ORDERS IT" Thorin shouted the last part in the direction of the kitchen. Dwalin swore back at him in Khuzdul.

"MENU SHIRUMUND" Thorin was only asking for him to buy cream, there was no need to insult his beard. He walked over to where his customer was sat on his iPad.

"OH WHAT THE FUCK YOU STUPID BIRDS" he shouted unexpectedly. Thorin jumped, he stared at his patron in shock, then he realised '_he's probably playing angry birds_'

"Ah, man, you on angry birds? I know the feeling, but seriously, you should hear Dwalin on Temple Run" Thorin joked, it was true, you could hear Dwalin's anguished screams a mile off when he was on temple run INSTEAD of working. He walked around to the opposite side of the table and took a seat. He leaned forwards and rested his head on his hand,

"So then, what's your name?" he asked casually, he raised an eyebrow as his customer blushed.

"Bilbo Baggins, at your service" he answered with a wink and a cheerful smile. '_Is he coming on to me_' Thorin pondered anxiously, attempting to conceal the blush that crept onto his face at the thought. '_It's not like I'd say no, I mean he is quite nice to look at, but he seems a bit… delicate_.' In an attempt to distract himself he glanced at the books surrounding Bilbo. 'W_ait… these look familiar_' he pushed a few textbooks aside to reveal a Mordor University Notebook. No wonder the textbooks looked familiar, he'd graduated his masters in Folk Lore there not ten years ago.

"So you go to MU?" Thorin asked surprised.

"Yeah, I'm a freshman. I major in Folk Lore" he answered matter of factly, as Thorin was flicking through Bilbo's notebook. It was a collection of essays on the Valar and badly written Wincest fanfiction. He was doing exactly the same course as Thorin had done back in the good old days. Suddenly the book was wrenched out of his hands. Bilbo was hastily shoving it back into his satchel,

"Haaaaa, yeah that's my own work… don't read it" he said quickly. Thorin could see he was uncomfortable, he decided not to mention the graphic smut scene that he'd just half read, but Bilbo was definitely not innocent in his eyes anymore. Maybe he'd found some common ground with his strange customer.

"No Way! I did folk law back in the day." Thorin laughed, trying to erase that fanfiction from his brain. "I had professor Gandalf. He was like the most eccentric loon you could ever meet, couldn't even walk into his classes without him questioning you!" Thorin saw another notebook open on the table, 'M_ay as well have a look_' he thought '_I wonder if they still teach the same stuff_'. He scanned the page; the notes appeared to be on the creation of the dwarves by Aulë. Most of the lore was incorrect; he flipped a few pages and noticed the same annoying discrepancies. '_How has this kid not failed yet if all his notes are this bad?_' Thorin asked himself, vaguely aware of Bilbo saying something about Gandalf.

"Are you doing okay in class" he interrupted. He didn't want to seem rude but he was worried for Bilbo's grades, "A_fter all, universities not cheap, and I wouldn't want him to drop out_' he mused. He regretted his choice of words almost instantly, Bilbo's shock was visible.

"I mean" Thorin paused, "I'm not being picky or anything… but there are a few things in your notes that aren't exactly right." He finished. '_I could've put that better_.' He mentally scolded himself, but his new friend looked genuinely interested so he carried on. '_Now, if I flick back a few pages maybe he'll think that his notes aren't as shit as they are_'

"Like here…when Ilύvatar found out that Aulë had created the Dwarves, he didn't smite them himself, Aulë was going to do it of his own accord to show his regret at angering his father." Thorin explained, without thinking he recited one of the many quotes he'd learned during the process of his degree.

"'**_Then Aulë took up a great hammer to smite the Dwarves; and he wept_**.' But in the end Ilύvatar saw Aulë's grief and that the Dwarves were scared and he spared them '**_But Ilύvatar had compassion upon Aulë and his desire, because of his humility; and the Dwarves shrank from the hammer and were afraid, and bowed down their heads and begged for mercy_**.'" He thought he'd keep it simple for the time being, and not bother explaining that the dwarves only shrank away from the hammer because Ilύvatar had already given them the gift of life.

"And there's this bit here," he continued, as he pointed to another section on the lore of Dwarves. "When the Seven Fathers of Dwarves were laid to rest in stone by their maker, whom they called Mahal, to await the coming of the first born, you say they were all laid in pairs, but in fact Durin the Deathless was lain alone at Mount Gundabad." Thorin looked at Bilbo, deep in thought, '_this kid is never gonna pass on his own, I feel bad for him really, it's not like I have a life… maybe I could…_'

"You know I could always give you a hand with your work if you like? I _have_ got a degree in it after all, and it's not like I have much to do." He had no idea what made him offer to tutor a student who he'd met a grand total of five minutes ago, he wasn't an extraordinarily good teacher, but he had a hunch that Bilbo's shocking lack of coherent notes might have less to do with his ability and more to do with Professor Gandalf's rather… unique stance on Class B drugs in the classroom.

Suddenly, Bilbo peered up into Thorin's eyes, his own glistened in the sunlight streaming through the windows. They shone like emeralds, flecked with hazel and chestnut, truly like nothing Thorin had ever seen before. Though the silence only lasted a second it felt like an eternity to him, whilst he was lost in Bilbo's glassy orbs, it was like looking into his soul. But most of all, he saw Bilbo's apprehension,

"It would be amazing if you could tutor me." Bilbo stuttered, blushing violently. '_Oh sweet Valar, when does this kid NOT blush?_' Thorin smiled to himself and quietly closed Bilbo's note book. Then he thought '_Wait, SHIT. I think he WAS coming onto me_'

Before he could do anything about it, his musing was interrupted by Dwalin barging through the door, his hands full of bags bearing the logo of the wholesale store across the street. It was run by his good friend Bofur, who also supplied Bombur's restaurant with stock, along with many other customers. '_Oh no, he's probably bankrupt me_' Thorin winced.

"Dwalin! I only asked for spray cream!" Thorin growled, resisting the urge to smash his head against the table repeatedly. He rose from his seat, and hurried over to the new arrival.

"There was a sale on so I took advantage you see." Dwalin said as he pushed past Thorin, far more forcefully than was necessary he thought, as he made his way through to the kitchen. Thorin turned to his new friend, and began to make his coffee, trying to school his features into a less angry expression.

"He gets like that, he doesn't mean to be a grump all the time." He said reassuringly, however it seemed he'd said it a bit too loud because not a second later,

"I HEARD THAT RUKHSUL MENU!" was bellowed from the kitchen, taking Thorin by surprise. He jerked so violently he almost managed to drop Bilbo's coffee. He shared a glance with his customer as he placed the mug down, they both burst out laughing to such an extent that Thorin ended up on the floor, with no memory of having gotten there.

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**Menu shirumund - You are beardless**

**Rukhsul Menu - You son of an orc**


	2. Chapter 2

**Heres the next chapter! I should probably tell you there's mentions of rape, murder/torture, but its just Thorin worrying. **

**Go check out Heizeru-Chan's version from Bilbo's point of view.**

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A couple of hours later, Thorin and Bilbo had exchanged numbers and arranged to meet at his apartment after work for Bilbo's first lesson. Just as Bilbo left the phone rang, he hurried to answer it, waving through the shop window.

"Hello, Erebor Coffee." Thorin sighed, watching Bilbo walk away down the high street, '_Now I think about it, he has got quite a nice-_' A happy cry of "UNCLE" shook Thorin out of his thoughts.

"Fili, Kili, why are you calling me at work?" he demanded. "How did you even get this number?" They began to answer but he interrupted, "Are you both using the phone at once?"

There was silence for a few seconds then a chorus of "Yes". His nephews really were inseparable, they were rarely seen apart, they almost never approached him separately, and best of all they agreed to both work for the price of one person and split the wages.

"We can call back later if your busy uncle?" Fili said. '_Am I ever really busy here?_' Thorin asked himself.

"Yeah, we don't want to disturb you at work" Kili added. '_We hardly get any business, Dwalin keeps spending the profits on his shopaholic tendencies, and were significantly understaffed._'

"No, it's okay lads, I'm not busy, what did you want?" he said into the receiver.

"We just wanted to ask some of the particulars about the job…" Kili began.

"Like what time we should show up," Fili interrupted

"And the uniform," Kili added.

"And the hours." They finished in unison. Thorin always wondered how they could do that, he and his brother, Frerin, had never been able to complete each other's sentences so consistently. He missed his little brother a lot, especially in the last year or so, with the stress of his business beginning to fail. He'd always been there to lighten Thorin up when he went into one of his moods, in a way his sister couldn't. He was a lot like Kili, with the cheeky, lovable outlook, but he had golden hair like Fili, and the same fiery temper when anyone insulted those he held dear.

In the end it took him forty five minutes to explain to them they had to be in at eight AM, ready to open for eight thirty. They could wear whatever they wanted within reason (half of the time was spent telling them that showing up dressed as a pantomime horse was inappropriate for a workplace environment), and they could work as many shifts as they liked, as long as it didn't stop them from getting their papers done. There were two shifts every day, the morning shift was eight 'til Twelve thirty, the afternoon shift was twelve thirty 'til five. Except on Sundays when they were closed. '_Really, it's not THAT complicated_.' Thorin thought, when he actually got off the phone. The rest of his workday passed in a haze of customers and annoying phone calls from Fili and Kili.

When it was finally time to close for the day, Thorin wiped over all the tables with cleaner, put the mugs and plates in the dish washer, and moved the money from the till to the safe in the back. He locked the doors, stinking of coffee and cheap lemon scented cleaner, and made his way round to the rickety metal stairs that lead to the apartments above. As he ascended the spiral staircase to the top floor, he walked past the door to Dwalin's apartment only to hear Queen being played rather loudly. He rolled his eyes at Dwalin's horribly screeched lyrics to Killer Queen and carried on upwards.

He flung open his apartment door and threw his keys in the general direction of the table. In the grand scheme of things his apartment was quite big, but it felt cramped because it was always a mess, the sitting room-come-kitchen had a large sofa and two armchairs around a book covered coffee table, towards the other end of the room was a dining table and kitchenette, covered with unwashed pots. In front of the coffee table there was a large Victorian style fireplace. Above it Thorin had hung an Ancient Elvish Sword that he had gotten almost for free from a market so long ago it felt like he'd had it forever. On each side of the blade there was a runic inscription that read "The Serpents Tooth", and the handle looked like it was whittled from a dragon's fang. There were two doors and a staircase leading up to the converted loft that he used as a bedroom. One door lead to the bathroom, the other to a room he was using as an office. His walls were covered with framed vinyl records and band posters. Underneath all the frames and posters the walls were bare brick and stone, there was only one large window at the far end of the room across from the door.

He trudged forwards and all but face-planted his sofa, Pressing play on his iPod dock on the way. '_I am not getting up from this spot for at least six hours_.' He was laid on the sofa listening to the opening of Pink Floyd's 'The Wall', when he suddenly remembered about inviting Bilbo over. He jumped up off the sofa, vaulted the coffee table and ran into the bathroom, making a mental note to tidy up when he got out of the shower.

He turned the shower on and stripped hurriedly, while he waited for the water to warm up. Eventually he dived into the still not quite warm shower, trying to scrub the coffee smell from his hair. After a while he gave up and accepted that he would always have a faint aroma of coffee. He left his conditioner to soak in and he used some weird strawberry scented soap he'd stolen from Dwalin last time he was over. At least that would cover up the coffee.

When he was done he jumped out, wrapped himself in a towel and hurried upstairs on an epic quest for clean pants. He was running around his room for fifteen minutes, hairdryer in hand, before he found where he'd thrown the clean washing. He threw on clean jeans and his Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles shirt, glancing at the clock, it was ten to seven. He almost dived down the staircase, and began trying to tidy the room into some form of order.

He'd just thrown the last of his many books into what he hoped looked like an artistic stack; all he could see was a haphazard pile, when his phone vibrated against the now clear coffee table. It was a message from Bilbo,

"**I'm outside now… dunno how to get in x"** he smiled to himself, remembering he hadn't actually told Bilbo where the door was. He went on a hunt for his keys as he frantically messaged back,

"**Haha, okay I'll be down in a sec x**" He finally found his keys, on the floor, three feet away from the table. He ran out, and down the spiral staircase, almost falling and breaking his neck as he flew past Dwalin's door, his horrible Freddie Mercury impression still audible. When he got to the bottom he stuck his head out, his hair billowing in the evening breeze, even though it was tied back. Bilbo was standing just round the corner, leaning against the shop door. He turned towards all the noise Thorin was making. Thorin smiled,

"Come on up!" he grinned, Bilbo smiled and walked towards him. Together they went around the side of the building and back up the stairs to Thorin's apartment. As they went past Dwalin's floor, his ear splitting, one man version of Bohemian Rhapsody was issuing from an open window. '_Does he even know we can hear him?_' Thorin pondered. He'd have to tell him some time, or maybe throw queen references into their conversations from now on and see if he notices. He became aware of the growing silence between them, racking his brain for something to say as they approached his door,

"Mine's the top floor seeing as I own this building" he said with what he hoped came across as a reassuring smile. Without further ado he swung open the door to his _newly tidied_ apartment and invited Bilbo inside with a wave of his arm. Bilbo hastily went through and shut the door behind them, once he turned to face the rest of the apartment he stopped in his tracks, staring at the room.

"Nice place you have here" he muttered. '_Ah yes, I've tidied up so well. Look, he's positively speechless at how clean and tidy my flat is._' He smiled at his apparent success,

"I've literally just tidied up so excuse any mess." he laughed '_As if there's any mess_' he thought proudly, and chuckled to himself as he sat on the sofa. He looked properly at Bilbo for the first time since he had arrived, his hair was curlier than it was that morning, but it suited him. He was wearing an oversized navy Mordor University jumper, and tight fitting jeans. Thorin only just noticed that his guest had removed his shoes, putting them near the door. He had abnormally large feet for someone of his size, almost the same as Thorin's, maybe even bigger.

He was thinking on this new revelation when a loud cough from Bilbo brought him back to his senses. '_Oh right, I'm supposed to be teaching him about the Valar, not wondering how his feet came to be that large._' he remembered.

"So then, have you brought the stuff you need?" Thorin asked needlessly, he could see that Bilbo's bag was even fuller than the last time he'd seen it. As he reached forward to pick up one of his old college notebooks, he felt his ponytail start slipping out '_Seriously, I need to do something with my hair_'he thought as he brushed the loose hair behind his ear, '_Maybe I should braid it_'. But now wasn't the time for such things, he sat back with the notebook clutched in his hand, watching Bilbo as he nodded.

"Yup, I've brought my books, my iPad and my funky lucky pens!" Bilbo grinned madly and patted his bag, '_Never, in all my years, have I __**ever**__ seen some one so excited about stationary_' Thorin couldn't help but laugh at the look on Bilbo's face when he thought about his beloved pens. Realising that Bilbo had probably walked there across town and would most likely be thirsty, he stood up and addressed his guest,

"Good! Did you want a drink before we start?" he replied. '_What do I actually have in?_' he wondered, he definitely had coffee, what with him running a coffee shop and all, he probably had some beer left over from last weekend when he had Dwalin and some old friends over. Maybe he had some tea somewhere.

"I've got beer, coffee, and some tea I think" he added as he got up and made his way over to the kitchen counter. He refilled the kettle and turned to Bilbo; he had his arms crossed and was thinking about his get together last weekend. Dwalin had come with his brother Balin, who was an accountant for his and many other businesses. His distant cousins Oin and Gloin (also cousins to Balin and Dwalin) had brought enough beer for an army, how on earth they had managed to afford it he would never know, Oin was an alternative medicines healer, and Gloin was more of a house husband than anything else. Needless to say, the second Fili and Kili heard the words 'free' and 'alcohol' in the same sentence they practically materialised on his doorstep.

"Uhm…I'll have a tea please!" Bilbo answered, dragging Thorin back to reality. He began searching cupboards for the second time that day. The coffee was easy enough to find, but the tea eluded him. On his third try he managed to find some poncey looking tea that he'd "borrowed" from Dwalin.

"Uh, I have this" he said, showing the package to Bilbo. "Peach and Cherry Blossom Green Tea" he read aloud, "Sounds like your kind of thing. I stole it from Dwalin last time I was round… It smells like flowers" he added, giving the package a brief sniff before turning to Bilbo.

"That sounds lovely!" Bilbo called from his seat on the sofa. '_Right then, how the hell do I make this stuff_?' According to the packet it was just like normal tea. Apparently his confusion was visible because seconds later Bilbo shouted from the sofa,

"You're not supposed to put milk in green tea, and sometimes you can put lemon in." Thorin nodded in acknowledgement, '_Well, that's good. I don't have any milk anyway_' he thought as the kettle boiled. He quickly made the drinks and returned to the sofa.

"So, what have you been learning so far?" Thorin asked, it was only mid-October, surely they couldn't have gotten through much.

"Well, in our studies of the Valar, we've done; the beginning of days, the creation of the three races, and were just starting a study on the evil of Melkor." He answered, while counting them off on his fingers. "And in our First Age Study we've learned about; Tuor's coming to Gondolin, and part Tύrin's childhood." Thorin nodded, thinking back to his first year at MU, he'd have to read up on the first age, but the Valar he could handle. He remembered Gandalf's rather lackadaisical attitude toward exams, deadlines and just grades in general.

"Do you have any exams or papers due in any time soon?" Thorin asked casually. '_Probably best I know what sorta deadline I'm working towards here_' he thought. Not that it would help much, Gandalf used to spring tests and assignments on them all the time. Bilbo's brow furrowed in thought,

"Err, I think Gandalf said something about a test this time next month" Bilbo answered. Thorin thought back to his time in Gandalf's class, suddenly he remembered the fiasco after the first exam of every semester.

"Have you had any before this one?" he asked frantically. Back in the day Dean Saruman and Vice-Dean Elrond would kick out anyone who got less than 50% in the first exam of the year. And the way Bilbo's notes were looking, that would be difficult.

"No, this will be the first one of the year!" Bilbo smiled, "Actually I'm sorta looking forward to it." Thorin was not the calmest person right now, 'S_hit shit shit shit shit shit fuck fuck fuck shit fuck oh holy fucking shitfuck_' that was all that was going through his mind. '_How can I tell him nicely_' he wondered.

"Haha, errmm Bilbo? I don't want to be the one to piss on your bonfire… but errrm, back in my day, if you didn't get over fifty per cent on the first exam of the semester, the Dean and Vice-Dean could kick you off the course." He was never the best with words; in fact he was one of the worst.

"WHAT?!" shouted Bilbo, "Why didn't Gandalf say anything, he said there might be a _little test_, not a massive exam that my entire future depended on." Thorin felt for the kid, he really did, but he was more concerned in stopping Bilbo from having a brain haemorrhage.

"Calm down Bilbo, it'll be okay." He said, becoming increasingly worried for Bilbo's wellbeing as he had jumped from his chair and begun pacing the room. He'd stopped at the fireplace and was gazing at the sword that hung above it.

"I mean how am I ever gonna pass if I can't even get the creation of dwarves right." He ranted, turning away as Thorin rose from his seat on the couch, he paced around the room.

"I knew I should never have left home, my cousins said as much, but oh no, I'm a Took, I have to go on giant adventures." His voice cracked was he finished his sentence. '_Oh well done Thorin, you made him cry._' He joined Bilbo by the window that he had wandered too, and put a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

"Please don't cry Bilbo." Thorin whispered. They stood there in silence for a moment, then, with a tiny peep of nope, Bilbo fell straight into Thorin's arms.

He was stunned for a few seconds, just stood by the window holding Bilbo, when his brain kicked in. '_Crap! What do I do? Did he hit his head? Is this normal? Do I have any smelling salts? WHAT IF HES IN A COMA LIKE THIS FOREVER?!_' He starting rushing round his apartment aimlessly carrying Bilbo to and fro, with absolutely no idea what he should be doing. Eventually Thorin laid him on the sofa, sitting in the chair opposite and having a mental breakdown. '_What if he doesn't wake up? I don't even know where he lives, who do I call? Does he have any family who will miss him? ALAS MY POOR BILBO, your life cut short by my stupidity!_' This went on for quite some time. When Bilbo began to stir on the sofa he was on the verge of tears. Bilbo rubbed his eyes and made to sit up, but Thorin was at his side almost immediately,

"Don't sit up too quickly." He said, "Are you okay? Did you hurt yourself? Do you need a minute? Here, drink your tea." He fussed while handing Bilbo his mug. Bilbo looked at him, catching his gaze, and burst out laughing.

"Calm down Thorin, I'm fine. Really!" he chuckled, "I just fainted, that's all, nothing serious." Thorin gave him a calculating look, when he could detect no deceit he sighed and replied

"Well, if you're sure you're okay." Bilbo smiled and nodded, reminding him that he was supposed to be teaching him about the Valar, not mothering him. So they got back to studying, Bilbo was an excellent student; Thorin ended up telling him some of Thror's old legends that Thorin had been told as a child. He was certain that it was just Gandalf's pipe fumes that were making Bilbo fail.

They had just finished the creation of the elves when Thorin got up to get more drinks. He'd torn the ribbon out of his ponytail in frustration about an hour ago as it refused to stay put. He walked over to the fridge as Bilbo was colour coding his latest set of notes. He pulled open the fridge door and gazed vacantly inside.

"Bilbo, I'm afraid I only have beer left." He called, with his head in the fridge. He really needed to go shopping; there was a half open crate of beer in the bottom of the fridge, a pack of bacon shoved roughly onto a shelf, and a lone potato. Not to mention a horrid smell issuing from a card board box that Kili had put in there, calling it "an experiment". He hoped it wasn't human body parts, but you could never be sure with his nephews.

"Okay then. I'll have beer, I suppose." Bilbo replied. Thorin grabbed a can and launched it in Bilbo's direction without thinking; he heard a thud and a muffled yelp. Looking up he saw Bilbo pushing himself back into the chair, having narrowly dodged the flying can aimed perfectly at his face, and a dint in the wall here it had apparently hit and rolled under the sofa. He couldn't help but laugh at the shock and terror on Bilbo's face. Once he had calmed down he grabbed another and threw it a lot more gently, Bilbo caught it this time. He picked up the rest of the crate and dumped it on the coffee table.

Thorin glanced up at the clock, then did a double take,

"Holy crap!" he blurted, half dropping his almost empty can of beer onto the table. "Is it really 2AM?!" he brushed his hair from his face wondering where all the time had gone. Seriously, last time he'd checked the time it was ten thirty.

"Oh god yeah, it is and all!" Bilbo cried and started shoving seemingly random objects into his bag. He began running around the room, suddenly stopping and glancing around for something.

"Why are you rushing around?" Thorin asked confused. '_I hope he's not planning on going home, he'd get mugged before he reached the end of the street_' he worried.

"Gotta get back, its late!" Bilbo answered loudly, whirling around and searching the room for some forgotten object. '_What if he got beat up, or stabbed, or kidnapped! My poor Bilbo tortured for six months at the hands of his captors, then brutally raped and murdered, his corpse washing up on the riverbank a year later with half the organs missing and a rotten face!_' the thought was too much.

"It's a really rough area here at night; I'm not letting you walk home at _this_ time." Thorin stated. He was putting his foot down; he would guarantee Bilbo's safety. '_Why do I feel so responsible for his fate_' Thorin wondered. Bilbo was in the middle of putting his shoes on when he stopped and turned slowly to face Thorin, blushing. He whipped his glasses off in what appeared to be a failed attempt at a Clark Kent impression, and sent them hurtling heroically towards the floor. Thorin found it hilarious.

"Are... Are you asking me to stay the night?" Bilbo stuttered. Thorin nodded and smiled, '_That is the most adorable thing I've ever seen_' he fawned. "Uhm… Where will I sleep?" Bilbo blushed. '_He seriously blushes at everything, it is so sweet._'

"I have a sofa bed, if that's okay with you?" he said as he started haphazardly throwing cushions from the sofa.

"Uhh… Do you have any other beds? I have a really bad dust allergy and my asthma could flare up at any moment if I sleep on that." Bilbo rambled. '_Did he just imply what I think he did?_' Thorin cleared his throat trying to discern if Bilbo's statement had a hidden meaning,

"There's only one other bed, and that's mine…" he said trying to read Bilbo's expression, "I could sleep on the sofa and you can have my bed if you want" he added just in case. He tied his hair back into a ponytail so it didn't get messed up while he slept. Last time he'd slept with it down he'd woken up to dreadlocks, although that might've had something to do with Fili and Kili staying over.

"If that's okay with you." Bilbo answered awkwardly. Thorin nodded, '_He better not get his beautiful hair all over my bed_' Thorin brooded.

"Come on, I'll show you my room" he said, tearing his eyes away from Bilbo's hair. He led the way upstairs with Bilbo following. Thankfully his room wasn't too much of a mess, he had some stuff on the floor, but it wasn't bad. As Bilbo was looking around Thorin attempted to break the silence,

"Yeah, well, this is my room…or as my nephews call it…the _love loft…_please don't ask, they're both idiots" Thorin chuckled and cringed internally, '_Why the fuck did I just say that? Nice job brain, well done. Now he probably thinks I'm mental._'

"The bathroom is just through that door; if you need anything just shout." He said, trying to salvage his reputation. He got a warm smile from Bilbo, then he turned and approached the bed.

"Uhm… I didn't pack anything to sleep in..." Bilbo mumbled whilst twisting the hems of his oversized jumper in his fingers. '_What do I have for pyjamas?_' he thought, he went to his wardrobe and began rummaging through, throwing clothes out behind him. '_Sweet Durin, this will make him look absolutely adorable, look how big it is for him_' he mused as he found his old Charlemagne shirt from his Heavy Metal days. He threw it at Bilbo from across the room,

"There you go. Okay then, I'll see you in the morning." He said quickly before leaving the room. On his way down the stairs he sighed, 'A_m I reading this guy right?_' he thought '_Sometime it seems like he's flirting with me, but seconds later he has no clue._' He sat down on the sofa, switching the TV on quietly, just in time to catch the news.

There was some live breaking news report about the local council hall; somehow they'd managed to get a reporter on the scene at this time in the morning. He was watching with scant interest, when suddenly two very familiar people began dancing in the back of the shot. '_I'm never gonna let them forget this_' Thorin chuckled as he pulled out his phone and began recording his nephews drunkenly dancing around like idiots on national TV. Eventually their friend Ori appeared trying to drag them out of shot.

Once the report was over, he sent the video to Kili with the caption '**Nice to see you're spending your college grants wisely**', knowing he would likely treasure the video forever. He decided it was time for him to get some sleep; it was getting on for 3AM. He took off his t-shirt and jeans, he couldn't be bothered to go and find clothes to sleep in so he just rolled with it.

He entered a fitful sleep under the itchy woollen blanket that he kept with the sofa bed. His dreams were filled with strange people and creatures, at some point he was being chased by Orcs, even though they were only myth, and he and his _company_? Is that what he had called them? Ended up in an elven city. His nephews were there, as was Bilbo. Something felt off, but he couldn't place it.

Suddenly he was being prodded awake by a bony finger in his shoulder. He mumbled something to do with his dream, then realised it was Bilbo trying to wake him. He yawned and dragged his hand over his face.

"Oh… Bilbo, it's just you…" he mumbled almost to himself, "Hmmm. What is it?" he asked, finally looking at Bilbo, his eyes shining in the darkness like glass. Thorin could almost feel Bilbo blushing, even though it was too dark to see.

"Uhmm… I know this is weird but… I feel lonely in that big bed… and stuff." Bilbo explained, Thorin stretched and gave another loud yawn.

"It's okay" he reassured Bilbo. "It's easy to feel lonely in that bed." He had himself, on many occasions. "I'll come up if that's okay?" he rose from the sofa, glad to leave the unforgiving blanket behind.

"Yeah, that would be fine…" Bilbo responded, '_He sounded a bit eager._' He smiled to himself as Bilbo turned on his heal and went back upstairs, Thorin in tow. When they finally got upstairs Thorin half fell into bed and sighed. He loved his bed. He was asleep almost as soon as his head hit the pillows.

_He was surrounded by fire; it seemed to be issuing from all around him. His surroundings were vaguely familiar but he couldn't quite place them. The room was vast and overflowing with gold, the air burned his lungs. As he looked around trying to work out where he was, he saw a shadow moving through the heaps of riches. It seemed to spit fire. _

_ When he tried to move he just sank deeper in gold, it was freezing despite the flames. The more he struggled the deeper he sank, when suddenly he saw a glittering light far ahead. He tried to move toward it, he felt like it was the most important thing in the world, he must have it for his own. But he was just sinking deeper and deeper. The shadow curled around him, forcing his world into darkness. _

_ All of a sudden there was someone grabbing his hand and pulling him free of the icy grip that surrounded him. The blinding light grew closer; all he could see in front of him was a short figure with honey curls and glittering eyes. But the draw of the light was too strong; he pushed the figure aside and hurried toward the luminous orb. _

_ As he reached out to grasp it, it seemed to shine with the light of a thousand suns. The instant his fingers made contact with its surface he found himself back inside the treasury, surrounded again by fire. He held the globe in his hand; it twinkled innocently at him and began to burn his palm. He couldn't bring himself to cast the stone away, and found himself falling deep into the frigid hoard once more._

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**So there you have it, were going to try and update once a week. All your reviews are appreciated!**

**By the way Thorin is dreaming of Erebor's treasury and the Arkenstone (if you didn't already realise)**


	3. Chapter 3

**So here is chapter three finally, I literally cannot apologise enough for how late this is. I know a week was a bit optimistic but I never expected it to take this long, I ended up literally doubling the word-count of the story. I don't know when the next update will be, in the next couple of weeks I assume. Don't forget to go read Heizeru-Chan's version from Bilbo's point of view. **

**Yes, that is some Khuzdul down there, not a really bad typo, I'll put a translation at the end. **

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Thorin awoke with a start the next morning. At some point in the night he seemed to have hugged Bilbo and refused to let go. The bright autumn sun was streaming through the window, making sleeping Bilbo's hair shine like gold. '_Gold_' he struggled to push the recollection of his dreams out of his head. They seemed vaguely familiar, and yet not so. He peered around blearily, taking in his room. It was quite a mess really. He glanced at the clock, it was 9:30am, '_Well, I should probably get up_'.

He tried to untangle himself as kindly as possible from Bilbo without waking him; he was just too adorable to wake up. After about five minutes of trying to carefully tease Bilbo's fingers out of his hair, he was free, and now he had to go on a quest for clean jeans. There weren't any in the wardrobe, or in the pile of clean washing that he still had to put away, '_Do I actually own more than one pair of jeans, or is it all in my imagination?_' he asked himself as he descended the stairs to search the washing machine.

He switched on the kettle as he passed, and opened the door to the washing machine. '_What the fuck? I think I'm losing my mind._' Apparently last night he had put eight pairs of jeans in the same wash. He grabbed the comfiest and made his way to the bathroom. On the way he noticed the empty beer cans littering the coffee table and surrounding floor, vowing to clean them up when he got out of the bathroom.

He caught sight of his hair in the bathroom mirror; it really was quite a state. He knew he had to do something with it. '_Well, I could cut it, but no, fuck that. Could just tie it up, but I like it down. Hmmmm… I could braid it._' He mused to himself as he pulled on his jeans. He grabbed a brush and roughly combed out all the knots in his hair. After that he started looking for something he could use to secure his braids, he caught sight of some of the dreadlock beads that Fili had left there back in his hippie phase.

He left the bathroom just as the kettle flicked off. He made coffee and began searching for protein shake ingredients. He was supposed to be going to the gym later with Fili and Kili, but chances were they were both too hung-over from the previous night. He stopped to send a text to Fili,

"**Good morning my favourite alcoholics. I'm assuming you have the world's biggest hangovers and won't be going to the gym.**" He set his phone down and began adding ingredients into the blender.

He'd blended half the stuff when his phone vibrated against the counter; it was a message from Fili. He'd sent a picture of Kili, passed out, with his face resting on the rim of a toilet, and Ori in the background sleeping in the bath. "**Does this answer your question?**" He chuckled and went back to making his shake, '_Maybe Bilbo would want to come with me_'. Just as he had that thought he heard footsteps approaching behind him, he turned to see Bilbo trying to scramble up to sit on the worktop. He was still wearing the shirt Thorin had loaned him; he looked like he'd crawled out of bed, pulled his jeans on and stumbled downstairs.

"Morning" Thorin smiled as he added protein powder to the blender. Bilbo mumbled something in reply, yawning and rubbing his eyes. Finally he managed to string together a coherent sentence,

"What you making?" he asked, peering into the blender. Thorin snapped the lid into place and mixed it a final time.

"A protein shake" he answered. He reached up to the cupboard above him to get a glass, '_Why do I even drink this stuff? It's disgusting._' He poured out the contents of the jug and handed it to Bilbo.

"Here, try it. Its gross" he looked expectantly at him, nodding towards the glass clutched in his fingers. Bilbo sniffed at it tentatively and raised an eyebrow at Thorin. '_His reaction is going to be hilarious_' he smiled to himself, still trying to look as innocent as possible. Bilbo took a sip, then looked up with a shocked expression.

"That's really nice!" he exclaimed. '_Marry me Bilbo._' He opened his mouth to speak, then closed it again. '_Wait, I can't say that. If nothing else I'll come across creepy_' his internal conflict went on for about twenty seconds, he realised he'd been staring at Bilbo the whole time.

"I-I'm going to the gym later, if you want to tag along?" he stuttered finally. '_Since when do I stutter?_' he asked himself.

"Yeah sure I'll go," Bilbo smiled, "I don't have anything else planned for today." Thorin grinned like a fool.

"Great!" he said, as he made himself another shake, letting Bilbo keep the first one.

"What's in this by the way?" he asked, glancing over all the strange food products lying on the worktop.

"Hmm, there's; milk, protein powder, raspberries, cream cheese, raw eggs. Errrmm... A potato and some orange jelly I found in the back of the fridge." Thorin replied, wracking his brain for what he actually put in. Bilbo looked horrified for a few seconds, then shrugged and carried on drinking. He was busy adding ingredients to the blender when Bilbo's stomach made a surprisingly loud noise. '_Oh Mahal, I didn't even offer him food. What kind of host am I?_'

"Did you want some breakfast, Bilbo?" Thorin said, '_Durin's sake, what else do I have in?_' "I think I have some bacon in the fridge. Did you want a bacon and egg sandwich?" he added. Bilbo smiled and nodded eagerly.

Thorin pulled the bacon out of the fridge, thankfully it was still in date, not that he would've minded but he didn't want to give Bilbo food poisoning. He put a frying pan on the hob to warm up as he unwrapped the bacon. Bilbo had taken it upon himself to butter the bread cakes. Thorin set about cooking the bacon, throwing it into the pan. It began to hiss and splutter, splashing his arms with hot fat. Thorin jumped back and he did not screech in pain, no matter how much Bilbo said he did. Bilbo laughed as he rubbed his forearms to remove some if the burning grease, soon he joined in.

Thorin finished making the sandwiches, but he ended up eating most of the bacon before it even so much as touched the bread. They were sat at his newly cleared dining table eating their breakfast. He looked up at Bilbo, bacon still in his mouth,

"Hey Bilbo?" Bilbo looked up at the sound of his name, "Since we've shared the same bed and studied the same courses, I've been meaning to ask you about yourself. I hardly know you." He thought he should ask at some point, after all he should really get to know his friends, in case they were serial killers or something. Bilbo was silent for a moment, putting his empty plate down on the table.

"Uhm… well, I live by myself, I'm a university student as you already know. My parents died when I was young and a distant family member is paying for university fees." He put his hand to the back of his neck, then appeared to sniff the borrowed shirt he was wearing. '_Holy shit! Is he smelling my shirt? Haha what a fucking loon._' Bilbo laughed nervously as Thorin raised an eyebrow at him.

"Hehe… I'm a big gamer really, all I do is go on Skyrim and go to work. Really, I'm not that interesting." Bilbo continued. Thorin nodded in understanding, '_He sounds quite lonely_' he mused.

"So then, what about you?" Bilbo inquired. Thorin paused, what could he say. When he thought about it he did have quite a traumatic backstory.

"Well, I run the coffee shop downstairs, and I own the building. Dwalin rents the middle floor for a cut rate because he's an old friend. I have a master's degree in folk lore, with a minor in politics, all paid for by my grandfather's company." He began, thinking of what to say next. "However, the year I left university he was ruthlessly overtaken by Smaug enterprises, and he was killed not long after by the local mafia ring. Not a day goes by that I don't curse their don, Azog, for what he did to my family. Once we had discovered what had happened to my grandfather, my father did his best to salvage what he could, but fell into depression and went missing not long after." He realised he was getting a tad off track. "Then I was left to fix what had happened. So I started a business to try and fund those that had suffered the most from this turn of events. I meet up with a group of them every once in a while to see how they're getting on and everything. About five years ago my brother was gunned down, we assume by Azog's mafia." '_Don't cry Thorin, don't cry._' The family had really taken the loss of Frerin hard, especially Thorin. "So now it's just me, my sister and my nephews. But yeah I'm rambling," he smiled sadly, blinking back the tears that had made their way to his eyes.

Thorin cast his eyes downwards, thinking about all that he had lost throughout his life. A single tear ran down his cheek. He let his hair slip down, covering his face. Suddenly he realised Bilbo was stood about half a foot in front of him, even though he was currently having a minor breakdown he couldn't help but notice how quietly Bilbo moved. He reached out and latched onto Bilbo's arm, pulling him into a tight hug. They were frozen like that for a moment, Thorin with his arms wrapped around Bilbo's waist, Bilbo's hands gently stroking his hair.

It was comforting, just to hug someone. Bilbo's smell reminded him of something he couldn't quite place. It was like a memory that danced on the surface of his mind, but as soon as he reached for it, it slipped away. It filled him with a sense of serenity, hazy images of rolling hills and babbling rivers swam before him. Suddenly they were replaced with a blurry hearth and familiar song. He couldn't hear the tune or words, but it seemed to resonate with his very soul, like he had known it well all his life. It was important to him, he knew it. As soon as they had come they were gone, and he was left with harsh reality.

He let his hands fall from Bilbo's waist; Bilbo followed his hands and knelt down in front of him, catching his gaze.

"It's going to be okay, Thorin." He said comfortingly, gazing up at him, again Thorin noticed how striking his eyes were, they seemed to shine with a light of their own in the morning sun, leaving Thorin in awe.

"I can see your eyes glistening with the ghost of your past, Thorin" Bilbo said quietly. '_Hang on a minute. Did he just? I think he did._'

"I bear my heart and soul to you and you make a Harry Potter reference, you little shit." Thorin smiled as Bilbo ran a hand through his hair. The looked at each other for a while, '_Why do his eyes look so familiar?_' he pulled himself out of his thoughts,

"So… Uhmm, when do you want to go to the gym?" he asked, tearing his gaze away. If they left soon they might catch Dori and Ori at their yoga session. Dwalin would probably be there anyway, he practically lived at the gym. Bilbo stood quickly, tugging at his shirt,

"Yeah!" he exclaimed. 'E_rrr ok then, I'm assuming he means now. "_When do you want to go?_" "_Yes._" How does he actually mange to communicate with anyone around his blushing and inability to form coherent responses?_' Thorin pondered.

"I didn't bring any clothes… as you can see." Bilbo added, with a sweeping gesture towards his torso. '_Do I have anything that would fit him? Anything that wouldn't be too big, I'd never live it down if I showed up with him looking that adorable._' He paused for a moment, racking his brain for the locations of any unworn clothes.

"I should have some of my nephews old shorts somewhere, they'll fit you." he replied. He stood from his seat and began his search for gym clothes. They were likely somewhere at the bottom of his wardrobe, so he hurried up the stairs and into the loft.

He wandered into his room scanning the area for the clean washing pile; he might as well get changed while he was up there. The clean clothes eluded him; he went to dig through the wardrobe for something for Bilbo. For the second time in twelve hours he had his head stuck in his wardrobe, searching for clothes he hadn't seen in months. He was roughly throwing garments out behind him as he went, '_They have to be in here somewhere… AHA!_' he thought as he grabbed the edge of one of Kili's old Guns and Roses shirts that he had cut up in a fit of trying to be fashionable. Sure enough there were some shorts underneath.

He whirled around, now on a quest for his own clothes, examining the shorts too make sure they'd fit Bilbo, then suddenly he was falling. He'd got his foot caught up in the clothes he'd thrown. As he tumbled forwards he put out his other foot in front of him to try and stay balanced, but as it happened the leg of the bed was only a few inches from him, and he kicked it full force stubbing four of his toes in the process and creating a rather loud bang. He stumbled backwards, his toes throbbing, when he trod on some Legos that Fili and Kili had left on his floor. Why his, apparently mature, nephews were playing with Legos on his floor he would never know. He stumbled again, now with both of his feet in agony, and got his legs tangled in some stray trousers lying on the floor. This time he wasn't so lucky, and was sent crashing down with a loud cry.

He landed awkwardly in between his bed and the bathroom door, defeated. He sighed and stared up at the ceiling for a moment pondering why all this stuff had to happen to him. He turned his head slightly and gazed under his bed. Suddenly, out of the corner of his eye, he spotted a pile of clothing, lying just under the bed on the opposite side. '_Ohhhhh, so __**that's **__where I put it._' He untangled himself from the impromptu booby trap and went to fetch his gym clothes from the pile. He quickly changed, avoiding tripping over all the mess he'd made, making a mental note of the Legos near the bathroom door.

"Found them!" Thorin exclaimed in triumph, holding the clothes above his head as a symbol of his eventual victory. He launched them in Bilbo's direction, remembering just as he let go of them that Bilbo couldn't catch to save his life. '_Ah well, I'm sure if he spends enough time with me he'll soon learn_.' As expected Bilbo failed to catch them and they hit him square in the face. He squealed loudly and stumbled back onto the sofa.

"Sorry!" Thorin shouted, "I keep forgetting you don't expect to have things thrown at you!" Bilbo gasped for air as he dragged the clothes from his face, Thorin had the decency to look bashful, smiling guiltily at Bilbo as he rubbed his nose from where his glasses had been hit.

"It's okay. I guess I'll just have to learn to catch" Bilbo joked. "Errr, which door was the bathroom again?" he asked, holding up the clothes Thorin had given him. Thorin gestured to the door nearest the stairs. Bilbo gave him a lopsided smile and hurried past him, '_Who gave him the right to be so cute?_ _Like seriously, how is this guy still single… wait… SHIT I HAVENT ASKED IF HES SINGLE. Dammit Thorin, get your shit together!_' he was too busy fretting to notice Bilbo quietly slip out of the bathroom.

"Okay, I'm ready to go." Bilbo said from behind him. Thorin whirled round in surprise, catching sight of Bilbo as he walked over to the armchair and grabbed his bag. He couldn't help but stare; it was a mixture of shock at how quietly he moved and the fact that the clothes suited him so well. He had pulled his shirt down at the front so it revealed part of his collarbone, the sleeves stopped just below his shoulders, showing the tops of his arms. He had more muscle than Thorin had expected, giving his arms shape, but he wasn't solid either. At least these clothes weren't too big for him.

Bilbo threw on his oversized MU jumper from the previous night, while Thorin rooted around in the cupboard under the stairs for a coat. He turned around clutching a faded blue leather jacket; the jumper made Bilbo look even more adorable, if that was even possible. '_That is literally the cutest thing I have ever seen. Oh Durin, I'm going to buy him a life time supply of oversized sweaters._' Thorin smiled, he would never get over how adorable Bilbo could be.

"Okay, let's get going then." Thorin said as he grabbed his keys and wallet from the table and made his way to the door.

He swung the door open and stepped out into the late morning sunshine, on a clear day you could see all the way to the university from this high up. He gazed out across the town, Bilbo joining him at his side.

"So, whereabouts do you live, Bilbo?" he asked, turning to head down the rickety metal stairs.

"Oh,I live just a couple of blocks away actually; I can see it from here." Bilbo replied, following behind Thorin. Thorin turned to look at Bilbo and noticed he was pointing to a block of flats considerably taller than the rest**. **

"So you're not that far away then" Thorin mused, more to himself than to Bilbo.

"It's only, what, a fifteen minute walk, I walk past Starbucks on my way down, but now I don't have to go in because A) It's expensive, and B) I go to Erebor coffee now." Bilbo smiled in response.

"You've only been in once you little shit, buy a loyalty card then we'll talk." Thorin said quietly.

When they reached the bottom of the stairs they turned onto the street and Bilbo pulled out his phone,

"For the sake of Yavanna!" Bilbo sighed exasperatedly, "I have thirty unread messages and fifteenmissed calls." He said presenting his phone to Thorin. He did indeed have thirty unread messages and fifteen missed calls.

"How, by the white shores, do you have that many texts and missed calls?!" he asked, bewildered. '_Is there even enough time in a day to do that?_' Bilbo laughed and shrugged,

"It happens every time my friends get drunk without me." He said, taking his phone back from Thorin. '_Oh no, did I keep him from going out with his friends? Is that what the young people are doing these days? Going out and getting smashed? Not much has changed. Speaking of which, I wonder how old Bilbo is, I know hobbits age a little differently but, he doesn't look __**that**__ young… MAHAL IM NOT A PAEDOPHILE AM I?_' He decided to push these uncomfortable thoughts out of his head before he ended up grabbing Bilbo round the shoulders and demanding to know if he was of age.

They walked along in companionable silence for a few minutes, before rounding a sudden corner and approaching the gym. It was a large square building, coated in peeling white paint, there was a big rusted sign bolted to the front that read '**ProFitness**'in comic sans. It wasn't the best place in the world, but it was cheap, and this is where his friends were, and really that's all that matters in the end, but, ever the fighter, that's not the way Thorin saw it. If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world, but sadly, this was not Thorin moment for a revelation, and his moment for that particular revelation would not come for a long time.

"Huh. I thought it'd be further away" Bilbo mused, dragging Thorin out of his wildly downward spiralling thoughts. He looked up at Bilbo, pushing away the imaged of gold and fire that had filled his head.

"Yeah, this is it; you'll probably need to sign up at the desk before we go in." Thorin said as he heaved open the temperamental automatic door, allowing Bilbo through before himself.

"Good Moring Tauriel." Thorin sighed, he'd hoped she'd have been fired by now; she never did her job, just chewed gum and ogled the dwarvish customers. She looked up at the sound of Thorin's voice,

"THORRIIIINNNNNNNNN" she screeched, "Fancy seeing you here!" she readjusted herself in her seat, dragging some papers toward her, and subtly pulling her shirt down about an inch, "You're looking extra muscular today" she smiled unappealingly in his direction.

"I'm here every Sunday, and I look the same as ever." He said exasperatedly, '_This fucking elf I swear, when will she take no for an answer._' He though, sparing a glance in Bilbo's direction. However when he turned to his companion he noticed that Bilbo was staring straight at Tauriel with a look that said 'Shut up or I will stab you in your face.' He raised his eyebrows, '_And to think Bilbo seemed like such a well-mannered gentle hobbit, maybe it's just her._'

"Who's your friend?" she asked staring back at Bilbo... Thorin could've watched the face off all day, but he felt he should intervene.

"This is Bilbo," Thorin said, laying a hand protectively on his shoulder, "He wants to sign up" he gave Bilbo's shoulder a comforting squeeze and nudged him toward the desk. He stepped back and leaned against a filing cabinet.

"Okay, good! I'll just get you a form." She said to Bilbo, rising from her chair and coming straight at Thorin, he instantly realised his mistake. He'd stood against the cabinet that contained all the blank paperwork, by the looks of it the draw she wanted was the one directly above his head. As she drew in closer apparently his unending horror at what was unavoidably about to happen to him became obvious, at least to Bilbo, judging by the looks he was sending Tauriel's way. She stopped just in front of him, pulling open the draw, virtually pinning him to the cabinet, with her arm on one side of him and the wall on the other. He saw her start to reach further into the draw, her chest getting ever nearer to his face, he turned his head in Bilbo's direction, terror etched into his face, and began rapidly mouthing 'Help me, FOR THE LOVE OF ERU HELP ME BILBO!' Thorin was pushing himself back into the cabinet as far as he could, but it still wasn't enough to completely escape. '_Oh Mahal no. Why does she do things like this to people? Maybe she'd have more luck at this if she wasn't flat chested. Haha. BOOM. Go Thorin. But seriously she needs to get her tits out of my face_' Tauriel seemed to reach the back of the draw when she was about half an inch from Thorin's face, he was still looking horror stricken at Bilbo when the draw was slammed above his head and she leant back clutching a clean form. Thorin scurried away blushing and gasping for air, sitting on a threadbare chair against the wall.

"Here you go." Tauriel said, roughly shoving the form and a pen into Bilbo's hands. Thorin was soon joined by a rather agitated hobbit, who began angrily filling in his details.

Thorin was watching Bilbo write absent mindedly, when he suddenly realised that Bilbo was filling in his birthday, **22****nd ****September 2890.** Thorin did some math. '_Let's see, its 2941, so that makes him… 51. Oh. I didn't see that one coming… he's only 144 years younger than me…._' Thorin looked back to see Bilbo signing his name at the bottom of the form with the thick red pen that had been handed to him. He stared at the signature a moment, it stirred something within him. He tried his hardest to focus on it, just for a second he saw a hazy image. A long piece of parchment, it must've been over four feet in length, covered with miniscule writing, at the bottom there lay three signatures, drifting in and out of focus.

**Signed **_Thorin son of Thrain_

**Witnessed **_Balin son of Fundin_

**Burglar **_Bilbo Baggins_

He blinked a few times, willing the vision to return, so he could see more of what his and Bilbo's signatures seemed to be upon. But it did not return, and he was left with an empty space beside him as Bilbo was talking to Tauriel about something. '_Why do I keep zoning out? I think I need more sleep._' Thorin was contemplating going to bed as soon as he got home, when Bilbo walked back over clutching a membership card covered in Tauriel flowing writing and a locker key.

He gave Thorin a crooked smile, Tauriel glaring at his back like she wanted to gut him in the street. He rose from his seat and they walked over to the door into the locker room. The door was locked with a card scanner, so you needed to scan the code on a membership card to get in. Thorin pulled out his card, trying, and failing to cover up his name with his thumb. When he'd first got it Tauriel had dotted the i's in his name with hearts. He ended up having to point it directly at Bilbo '_Fucking piece of shit scanner I swear to Mahal._' He heard some stifled laughter coming from Bilbo's direction, blushing violently he eventually got the scanner working and the door clicked open. Thorin quickly yanked it wide enough for him to slip through, knowing how temperamental the doors where in this place, expecting Bilbo to follow suit. However he heard a yelp from behind him, and turned to see Bilbo stuck half in and half out of the door. He tried to hide his amusement as he put his weight against the door to rescue poor Bilbo.

When they finally got through the door Thorin began scanning for faces he knew, it was quite empty compared to normal. '_Well there's Dwalin, as usual, I wonder how long he's been here._' He nodded in greeting, receiving a wink and gesture in Bilbo's direction. He couldn't help but face palm. '_Mahal, he probably thinks I got laid. Ha, he would. Who else is here?_' He cast his eyes elsewhere, spotting his nephews friend Ori teaching his yoga class with his brother Nori. Noticing Dwalin's brother, Balin among the class, as well as his friend Bombur, who ran what was arguably the best restaurant in town. It was literally impossible to get a reservation there, unless of course, you were Thorin Oakenshield, and were personally responsible for funding the entire business out of your own pocket.

They walked into the changing room; it was small, with lockers covering most of the wall space. Thorin pulled open his locker, turning to address Bilbo.

"You may as well but your bag in with mine, there's enough room." He said with a smile, as he half threw his bag into the locker. Bilbo had to stand on his tiptoes to reach. '_And just when I thought he couldn't get any cuter._' Thorin took a moment to look Bilbo over as he tried to manhandle his bag into the locker. '_He doesn't really need to lose any weight, well, having said that, he could lose a couple of pounds, but he's cuter this way. I wonder if it's socially acceptable to tell him how cute he is… No, wait I'm getting off topic. I doubt he could even lift his own weight; we need to work on that. His legs look quite strong though, he probably does a lot of walking._' Thorin was brought back to reality by Bilbo slamming his locker closed after finally managing to get his bag in. Bilbo gazed at him with an eyebrow raised, glancing toward his chest and biting his lip. '_Oh fuck, did he catch me checking him out? Wait. Is he doing it back?!_' Thorin blinked a few times and turned to lead Bilbo back out into the gym.

Thorin stopped near the stairs and turned to Bilbo,

"Right," he announced. "First five minutes on the cross trainer and treadmill, then we come down here for weights and stretches." He received a nod in response and carried on up the stairs to the balcony. The upstairs was mainly for cardio and weight loss, whereas the downstairs was for weights and muscle building. There was also a section in the back corner for gym classes, like Ori's yoga and work out classes. He lead the way to the cross trainers, climbing almost effortlessly onto one, while Bilbo stumbled haphazardly onto the one next to him. '_By Aulë, his legs are soooo short._' He thought, watching Bilbo attempt to work the oversized machine. '_Crap, he's looking at me looking at him. Do something Thorin._'

"I'm gonna work you so hard today." He blurted, '_Oh, what the fuck did I say that for? Now I sound like a sexual predator. Oh well, better go along with it._' He thought, grinning at Bilbo. He looked suitably creeped out, so Thorin began setting the display settings up for him.

In hindsight it might not have been the best idea to warm up on the cross trainers, given that Bilbo was really too short to use it properly. '_Well A+ for effort, I can't fault him there._' Thorin mused as he watched Bilbo almost have a heart attack. He offered a few words of encouragement as he completed his own warm up. He stood behind Bilbo to get a better view of the display, yes… definitely the display; he only had thirty seconds left.

"Come on Bilbo, you're almost there." He encouraged. It reminded him of when he trained his nephews; at least Bilbo wasn't complaining as much as they did. The machine beeped loudly, and he stumbled off, almost collapsing into Thorin's arms. He offered Bilbo his water bottle, which he almost completely emptied.

"Bastard!" Bilbo hissed between breaths, "You almost killed me on that thing!" he gestured to the cross trainer. '_He's so endearing when he's angry._' Thorin chuckled.

"Haha! That was only the warm up!" he replied.

Next they went on the treadmills, Thorin thought it unfair to push Bilbo to his limits so they had a nice chat instead. Bilbo was asking Thorin about the running of his shop and his friends. He asked about the guitar in the corner of Thorin's room, prompting Thorin to tell him about his band '**The Heirs Of Durin**' with him on guitar and vocals, Dwalin on drums, and Gloin on bass. Bilbo seemed mesmerised by Thorin's life, no matter how boring it seemed.

When they were done Thorin took Bilbo downstairs so they could get more drinks and work on weights. As Bilbo was refilling his bottle Thorin wandered over to Dwalin. He was greeted with a knowing smile,

"I'm sure you had a fun night." Dwalin remarked. "Though I'd have thought you would have chosen someone a little more…"

"Durable?" Thorin supplied, the pair looking over to where Bilbo was trying to work the water dispenser. "For your information nothing happened. I'm just helping him study for his degree." Thorin retorted, receiving a look that said 'if you say so'.

After a relatively short time in his oldest friends company, they got into a bench pressing contest. They were quite evenly matched, being around the same height and build. Once they conceded that neither would win, Dwalin left Thorin with the weights and wandered off somewhere. Thorin gazed around looking for Bilbo, and eventually found him stood near the barrier leading into the gym office. Rather alarmingly Tauriel was leaning over the barrier staring at him. He looked away quickly, missing Dwalin scaring the life out of Bilbo.

They ended up leaving about one thirty; Thorin had introduced Bilbo to some of the people he knew. Balin had taken a particular liking to him, probably because he saw someone that reminded him of his younger self, Thorin had decided. After he had suitably decimated Bilbo with weights training they had decided that it was enough for one day and were currently on their way to 'A charming elvish café' that Bilbo had recommended, needless to say, Thorin had his reservations.

Apparently it wasn't far from them, in the city centre near the Starbucks. '_It would be_' Thorin mused, '_Those elves are all alike._' They were walking through the market square, Thorin was idly browsing the stalls while he followed Bilbo to Durin knows where. Suddenly Bilbo darted across his path at an extraordinary speed, toward a stall somewhere in the depths of the marketplace. Thorin tried to follow but he couldn't weave through the crowd fast enough.

Eventually he caught up with Bilbo; he was just about to ask what had him running so fast when someone roughly grabbed his arm. He spun around, only to find his friend Bifur's face about three inches from his own, the axe protruding from his forehead gaining several worried glances.

"Bifur! Fancy seeing you here." Thorin exclaimed, still a little shocked at being grabbed.

"Shamukh Thorin" Bifur answered, it was rather unfortunate that Bifur couldn't speak anything but Khuzdul, however most dwarves who were still in touch with their heritage could speak enough to get by. "Zûr zataganagzu 'ala ghiluz?" It took Thorin a few seconds to work out what Bifur was saying, given the speed at which he spoke and his fluency.

"I'm fine thank you, how about you?" Thorin answered, thankful that Bifur could at least understand Westron, his Khuzdul was frankly awful and if Bifur wasn't providing the relevant Iglishmêk he would be totally lost.

"Sul ghelekh barkûr ra turg" he replied with a smile and a friendly pat on the shoulder. Thorin looked over Bifur's shoulder to see Bilbo looking up inquisitorially at them.

"Bifur, this is Bilbo" he said, gesturing to his companion, "Bilbo, this is my old friend Bifur." Bilbo looked up at Bifur, taking in his rather deranged appearance.

"Errm, hello." Bilbo stuttered. Bifur grabbed Bilbo hand and shook it rather violently,

"Zai dashunizu ra barufizu!" Bifur announced proudly, going slightly cross eyed half way through. Bilbo held his gaze and smiled politely, then all of a sudden Bifur pulled Bilbo into a tight hug. Thorin chuckled at the look of horror on Bilbo's face.

After a moment Bifur released his captive and turned to hug Thorin instead,

"Mud ganag." He muttered to Thorin as he returned the hug.

"Okay, good bye my friend." Thorin said when he was released. Bifur addressed both of them,

"Mukhuh Mahal udnîn zu ra sanzigil umkhûh zu" and with that he wandered off back into the crowd. Thorin looked down at Bilbo to see him gazing after Bifur, an unreadable look on his face.

"Thorin… you have the strangest friends."

Eventually they made it to the café Bilbo was talking about, it was a small shop front built into a row of ancient buildings. The sign was painted a vivid green colour with '**The Lembas Mill**" scrawled across it. '_Oh no, what have I gotten myself into?_' his mother had always told him not to judge a book by its cover, but frankly he was starting to doubt her wisdom. Bilbo pushed open the door and a bell tinkled somewhere in the depths of the shop. It smelt thickly of flowers and fresh bread. As they entered Bilbo smiled to the elf behind the counter and they made their way to a booth in the corner.

They sat down and Bilbo handed Thorin a menu,

"How about I buy you lunch?" Bilbo smiled, looking down to his own menu.

"You don't have to do that!" Thorin blurted, "Surely you have better things to spend your money on." Bilbo was a student wasn't he? Weren't the always poor all the time? Aulë knows he always was.

"Really Thorin, its fine." Bilbo replied with a chuckle. "I've already paid my bills for the month, and my pay check comes in next week." Thorin had never met anyone who regarded money in the same way as Bilbo, usually his family and friends saw spare cash as something to be hoarded, not almost given away without a second thought.

"Well, if you insist." He agreed, surveying the menu. He'd never even heard of half the things on it; Mushroom Croustade, Aloo Gobi, Panzanella. '_What the hell is a focaccia?_'. After a moment he was mightily confused, the main ingredient in almost everything seemed to have been grown on one plant or another.

"Bilbo?" he asked as casually as possible, "Where's all the meat?" He'd been hungry since they got to the gym, and vegetables just weren't his thing.

"Haha, oh Thorin, you are funny. It's a vegan restaurant silly!" Bilbo giggled like he was having the time of his life, but only one word was going through Thorin's mind.

"WHAT?!"

* * *

**Khuzdul Translation**

**"Shamukh Thorin." - Hail Thorin, its the equivalent of saying hello.**

**"Zûr zataganagzu 'ala ghiluz?" - How fare you this day?**

**"Sul ghelekh barkûr ra turg." - All is well with Axe and Beard, Equivalent of I'm fine.**

**"Zai dashunizu ra barufizu!" - At your service and your families!**

**"Mud ganag." - I must go.**

**"Mukhuh Mahal udnîn zu ra sanzigil umkhûh zu." - May Mahal guide you and Mithril find you, Common farewell. **

**Okay so there you have it, I hope you like the story so far. Your reviews are appreciated, and I have tumblr btw, if any of you crazy cats wanted to follow me or anything... My url is bagginsgotdabooty**


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